Very little wit, with the knit.

In the absence of solo time

to hit the sewing room,

I am back at this.

 

(If you do not have small children

 stop reading now)

(I said NOW, for your own sake)

Because a blog is the place for

inappropriate over sharing...

Yesterday the sweetie was out so I had 3 kids solo for bedtime.

Yu had just completed a neck poo

IN her jolly jumper and I was wrestling her on the change table.

Ducking, and inhaling only through one nostril

(really people, up to the neck...such horrors)

when out of the corner of my eye I see Nu

triumph over her poo diaper and swing it over her head.

All to the sound of breaking dishes

And thus I wonder if I'll ever sew anything again.

Besides my own straight jacket.



Happy Chocolate Holiday

I've never been one to go goo-goo for Valentine's Day.

However,

these days with 3 preschool kids in the house

Any chance to go on a date is

AWESOME!!!

You may

(or more likely may not)

have noticed a serious lack
 of craftiness over here.

I am in the bottom of a sleepy valley.

The kind of sleepy valley where you are woken every 20 minutes.

So easy is what I need.

(Whatcha talkin' bout Willis?)

(Non sequitur)

So, what could be easier to make?

This is likely to be a big hit for the girlie girl.

Who is tragically deprived of a sea of pink.

The heart headband.

Hearts, pink, and an accessory?

Why it also has the power to hypnotize

(just not at night)

Someone may pee themselves with happiness.

For clarity's sake,

that person will not be me.

More likely the 5 year old.

I feel almost sure.

Hey what's that cute baby doing there?!!

Oh right, keeping me awake.

Cheeky Monkey!!!

Bang bang baby

My baby likes to rock.

She also likes to roll.

But mostly,

she likes to be carried around.

There's a lot to see out there,

after all.

Every once in a while I need to put that baby down.

(bad baby...no, no I mean literally)

The spine needs to unfurl.

So I made her a little station,

with this great tutorial from the Paisley Cupcake.

The kind to hang toys from.

The kind that has a little surprise door with ribbons.

The kind where she can kick

and rock and work on the roll.

And go bang, bang and bat bat

while my kidneys say small prayers for their reprieve.

I've crossed over

There's no denying my trajectory now.

I'm not even a glue gun away

from crossing over into the depths of Craftopia.

You see:

I've been painting for a few years.

And then with the birth of this blog I started sewing.

Then there was the knitting,

and crocheting,

there may even have been some felting.

But really, you're nothing, certainly not craftastic

unless...

you

modgepodge.

And so,

after tripping over cell phone cables

and baby monitor same,

and with this great idea from Make It & Love It

I remove tongue from cheek,

while eating my words.

Kids R Nuts

At least mine are.

Don't get me wrong,

I like them that way.

Some of my favorite people are nuts.

Nope, all of my favorite people are crackers.

Pu has a scarf and was moaning that it didn't keep her cheeks warm.

I made her a cowl and by request it was really,

much

much more like a neck brace.

She really couldn't move much,

and liked it that way.

Then she started moaning and I said Pu...

"we can unbutton one of those bad boys and you could breathe."

Nooooooo!!!!

And off she went in her neck brace,

and warm cheeks.



Oh Baby, What Do You See?

We have a screamer.

And not in a sexy way.

When Yu is being held, she is the most adorable,

charming,

sanguine

doodle.

When she's not...

Mad Cow.

Especially in the C-A-R.

(I spell it for safety's sake)

Your safety, mine...the safety of the universe.

I know in my intellectual brain,

(what little is left and has not been eaten by child zombies)

that while my baby is doing everything in her little baby way to convince me she is be flayed alive, garroted and prison shived simultaneosly,

she is in fact communicating her profound distaste with her car seat and the car.

Long ago I bought this travel matt from a company called Raisin' Baby.

Now all but one piece is missing.

Probably in the dogs intestines.

So I made some new patches.

It's a little hanger that you can put on the back of the seat that

 your back-facing-child-hostage stares at.

I made some different little squares to swap in and out.

So just before my baby has plotted her own end between loud

LOUD

loud screams,

she instead thinks in her baby brain

"Oooh owl.

Reason to live!!"

Or maybe: "pretty flower will scream less, suck fist and think of meadows instead of killing mommy"

One can only dream the big dreams.

A little tribute to Chinese New Year

At Pu's preschool they celebrated

Chinese New Year.

Dressed head to toe,

red, red everywhere.

 Pu 'needed' a little celebratory bobble.

Happy year of the Dragon!

Ahoy Mates.

Sorry for the radio silence

faithful readers.

I've been single parenting for the past weekish

and the only stitching I've been game for

is stitching back my dignity and spirit with a giant piece of pie

and a serial killer TV show.

Phew.

I like my sweetie.

I like him especially at the 2 year old's bedtime :)

And now for further crafty news.

Santa came and left me with a...

Serger.

Gulp.

Thank you Santa!

I hope Santa will also contribute to the therapy

fund required to support learning to use one of these bad boys.

Rather than swearing loudly

 while making countless mistakes

on strips of garbage fabric,

I decided to swear loudly while edging flowers.

On sparkly linen.

Threading and changing thread on this machine,

is just as terrifying and daunting as reported.

Total madness without the video.

And even with...

did I mention the swearing?!?

Then I got bold.

And changed things.

Magical buttony, needly, thready things.

And I tried a rolled hem.

(centre petals).

Super cute,

but it does involve extra swearing and watching instructional videos

over

and over,

did I mention over?

In other anal retentive bulletins:

to make way for my new frenemy El Serge (r)

I found a new and better home for my ribbon stash.

Tucked away.

Off to eat pie and watch Dexter.

(Wait, The Sweetie is back, what's my excuse now?)

Sewing Flops Abound!

I was inspired by this dress over the holidays from No Big Dill

(Katy's stuff is so lovely)

I thought to myself,

I could try a circle skirt.

All the cool kids say it's easy.

So I followed this tutorial from MADE.

And, clearly I can't do math.

Even when someone else does the math.

MY version of the circle skirt looked like I was hiding a bus underneath it.

Even though the white version was so excellent on her,

surely.

When I wear white, people stop me and try and

defibrillate me.

That's not very festive.

And so I scrapped it.

Then I made this little doodle.

And then...I slit the zipper with a seam ripper.

Dagnabbit!!!

I tried to use some 'stitch witchery'

but it just made my bitchery,

so I guess I have to replace the zipper.

On Organza.

Oh craptastic!!!!

Magic incantations or hot tips welcome.

A New Crafty Year Begins

Another little skirt to add to the uniform

And I was forced to add some tulle

to the tattered flower skirt.

Static cling was ruling my shimmy.

More accurately,

I was at risk of mooning

the Postie on my walk baby & dog

early morning march.

I think the tattered flowers are too tattered.

Will recreate a new version with a little less

rip and tear.

I've been on a little sewing tear...

I can't stop making stuff.

Last night it was skirts.

Poppies for the tallest of the shorties.

So simple, so festive.

For me it was tattered flowers

on good old canvas.

I've decided my mom uniform is all

about the skirt these days.

Pockets to be added later.

This is the other part of my uniform.

Baby?

Check.

Crazy arm warmers?

Check.

Shawl/ Cowl/ Funky nursing hideout?

Check.

Bathroom photography

complete with empty toilet roll?

Ah check check.

Then there is skirt-tastic.

This is my favorite so far

but I haven't tried it on the girly whirl yet,

so I will leave you with some mystery photos.

Is it an Xmas gift or just a skirt?

In the spirit of keeping it simple

I'm not into a huge pile of

presents under the tree for the little ones.

So maybe, this will just be a Dec skirt.

In which case, photos to follow.

Happy Ho Ho

A little gifting.

A wee bit of handmade for the holidays.

Stuffed animal blankets & sleeping bags

IPhone cases/ wallets

and snugly baby blankets.

Phew.

I also mailed off the package for

Lynne, winner of the SMS giveaway.

Exhale.



It's beginning to look like Xmas!!!

Rudolph came to visit.

Lights are a-glow.

Letters to Santa have been written

& received

(Thank YOU Canada Post)

Family here, and sadly gone.

Cheer in all shapes and sizes.

Including the less traditional

jellyfish cheer.

From a place of crafty appreciation,

these jellyfish origami lights

R-O-C-K

Nice moves Aquarium.

Back on dry land...

Something wool on the hook.

Fast and friendly.

Quick and dirty.

Another shrug/ cowl/ neck warmer

wrap-y thing.

Modelled here by the lovely Futchie

and her cutie mini.

It's cozy time.

Let's snuggle people.